What Therapy Taught Me About My Home Decor


A couple years ago, my stress was at an all time high and I started therapy. It has been one of the best things I’ve ever done. I’ve had a lot of realizations since starting therapy, but the latest one really surprised me.

I noticed that when it came to decorating our home, I had a really hard time spending money on quality “pretty” things even though I LOVE beautiful homes and interior design.

If it was functional and would make our overall family life better, I didn't think twice.

A lamp so we could actually see in the living room at night since there is ZERO overhead lighting? Done. Blackout blinds so the little one will nap in the middle of the summer? In the cart! But window treatments when we already had perfectly functional blinds? Or pretty pillows or bedding or dishes when we already had some that get the job done? Those were hard ones for me.

Instead, I would either decide that we would go without, make do with a thrift store find that was sorta-but-not-quite-right or add to my long lists of DIY projects. I know people who LIVE for the thrift store hunt or DIY projects, but at that moment in my life with limited kid-free time, those things felt like stressful obligations not joyful opportunities.

My reluctance to buying the things I wanted made a lot of sense when I was growing up and we didn’t have much money.

It made sense when my husband and I were living with a tight budget in order to meet some larger financial goals. But once we met those goals and had a bit more freedom in our spending to budget for the things I wanted for our home, it didn't make as much sense.

I realized that for me, a large reason I kept doing it was because deep down I was holding on to some toxic beliefs. These weren’t things I would have said I believed, but my actions showed me how much I had bought into these lies:

  1. My time isn’t valuable. If my time isn’t valuable, it doesn’t matter how long it might take me to DIY that thing or hunt for a bargain.

  2. My happiness isn’t worth spending money on. That is why I was able to buy things for my kids, but not myself and worked so hard to find the cheapest way to get close to what I wanted - even if the result wasn't as satisfying as saving up and spending money on the real deal.

So after realizing these things, I decided to embrace what I know is true:

My time is valuable.

My happiness is worth spending money on.

And with that, I’ve been working on making our home prettier by taking on each area one by one and making it the way I want – not the way I’ve settled for it to be.

Obviously, since I DO like living with less, this hasn't mean swinging from a more minimal home to packing it full of all the things.

And this has definitely included some element of DIY and secondhand purchases because those add the kind of character, interest and personality that you just can’t buy at the usual stores. What I’m trying to say is – I’ve been approaching it all with more balance and grace towards myself and acceptance of what matters most to me and it means spending money to make that happen, THAT'S OK.

Having things in your home that bring you joy is part of making a simple, beautiful home – adding the things you want, letting go of what no longer serves you and finding the balance that feels right for you and your family.

Lindsey Escalante